You care enough to know too much
You could try twist it some other way,
I fell in love at just the thought.
At the thought of love reminding me of romance.
It leads me to contemplate my motives…
How much is this about my selfish desires and dreams?
Do I care enough for you… Without the thought of myself?
Now I’m not just saying that, but I know when I miss your voice it’s not because of what you say about me or to me but instead the passion, care or carelessness fun you paint your tone. I cling to the very sound, and can lose words, even lose understanding…
Because only you so professionally and honestly respond and teach the educational and social endevours the manner in which you do so.
If I were to shut up, let you wash away the sand with the never ending thoughts I would be most content.
It’s an entertaining comfort, of satisfied smiles and bright eyes into the tainted soul.
This is not a love song, but a spell.
I feel like a fool, falling so mindlessly like before… Surely I should have learnt my lessons before.
I remember now why I was… So much more promiscuous.
I’m setting myself up to fall. Hard.
The beat of your heart ignites mine, into throws of passions as my head desperately tries to keep it tethered to be cold; to block it out to not cloud my judgement.
Too late, it has corrupted me, the rhythm of your heart sears into my eyes as I watch you…
I remember your breath, being near, slowing but surely igniting me. enveloping me.
I remember your kisses the feeling…me trying to stop the butterflies.
That what he said. The words seem to come to him like bees to gardens. He catches my breath the same way leaving me breathless. Yes, I’m the lucky one. With all the warm, red butterflies.
I like being close to you.
I like feeling your touch.
Knowing you’re there. Here.
The heat is never unbearable. If anything pleasurable. Comfy. Safe.
My cold hands melt like the rest of my body with a stare.
But you’re hands, powerful, strong yet gentle send chills, heart beats and giggles.
The heart doesn’t feel anything. The heart just pumps blood.
It is the brain that chemically reacts to our situation causing miscommunication of fear.
Dilated pupils. Sweat palms. Heart racing.
Safety and fear collide in a chaotic mess that humans say they understand but fall nieve and ignorant to it’s true charm and nature.
Again: the heart knows nothing but to keep you alive. Though that does not mean you are living you’re life.
Again: you’re mind, the central nerve system has played with your senses and reactors like a game of chess. No, twister.
No chess was right. An intricate thoughtful game for two. The brain has it’s pawns, it’s bishops, it’s kings and Queens.
Nevertheless, it’s not always thoughtout, sometimes the mind gets twisted, confused and just has fun. Let’s go.
Once more: the heart pumps blood.
You know in the movies when they have the guy’s thoughts and the girls thoughts when in a relationship? (being stereotypical, I’m sure this happens with same sex or other genders,)
Well it came up in conversation that when I’d mentioned walking and Ranulf had said “you should walk more often,” I remember thinking hmm, I can trick him into thinking he’s just asked me to go with him, and said “you offering? ” and he didn’t disappoint, he agreed and I recently found out that his thoughts had been along the lines of if we go on a walk alone, I could be cute and try to kiss her.
I doubt he would have been able to pull the move though, no offence. Haha, so… Remember, sometimes they’re thinking the same as you are :3
He’s been listening.
He’s been caring.
He’s been Waiting.
Friday afternoon was a repeat of just Thursday; just better…
We went to the red tree. It’s massive and different, stands out, stands strong.
Not going to lie we did less work than ever before. The work we attempted was on the floor and once I’d pushed him down he’d pulled and rolled me over on top of the work.
I was expecting that, it was amazing.
He told me more of my quirks and never thought I’d actually find a guy who’d figure me out like this. Things I hadn’t even picked up on. Little tells.
He asks me questions that are deeply dipped in sutle personal passions, leading to him saying “I remember you saying you liked neck kisses,” haha, good memory.
But again it wasn’t serious sexy, it was light and lovely and to his surprise, catching him off guard I plant a kiss on his cheek.
Seems like we like to surprise eachother, so when he treated me like a princess, kissing up along my arm like a gentleman… Well what a pleasant surprise.
But it wasn’t all physical, one of the strongest things between us I think is eye contact. No, communication, through a stare. We can understand eachother (even if he thinks I can’t) which is useful since we’re not being official or public…
I don’t really get it but I’m happy with how it is. Very happy.
Everyone else yelling Frustratedly saying we “should be a couple, won’t you kiss already?”
Hey, people are even placing bets, we’ll be able to get money out of this by the looks of things!
As much as that line was only half a joke, I actually have faith in him. I have faith in myself.
I have no kdea how many of you have experienced the moment where someone you’re friends will tells you they like this guy…
This guy who you like and have been kissing in the park thro sun and rain, strength and pain…
She just turns in a crash of rejection…
I stand to awkwardly catch her…
We’re not the best of friends but we’re similar and we have the same friends. We hang out and she was even there when I needed her.
She’s not my favourite person in the world. But she’s not my least favourite either.
No, it’s alright. I can tolerate and even enjoy her company. It can be truly great.
However… Fucking wow that was awkward.