Those moments when

You’re head hurts and you just want to sleep.

You’re easily irritable and just want to be alone.

You’re unappreciative of all the privileges you attain.

You’re told you have it easy because you have food on your plate, a roof over your head, health and hygiene and ever more….

I don’t get how you want me to feel for someone who I’ve never met, who’ll never effect me.
How can I help them when I can’t help myself?
“oh but you can you over privileged child”
No.
No one choose where they wound up.
Too bad this isn’t fair.
It all dictated by the past.
If you’re parents worked their arse off for you to have a good life you should be able to enjoy it without guilt.

But you’re whole life can’t be happiness and rainbows are you’ll never truly understand joy.
We need our “problems” (even our “first world problems”) to help us appreciate the good.

My eyes hurt because of this bright light keeping me up.
A poor kid in God knows which County is probably falling blind due to a terrible disease.
Poor kid.
But my eyes still hurt.
And if anything the thought of his pain only adds to mine.

I don’t even know why I’m ranting.I’m just hurting.

Micaiah’s xoxo

Locked out

Nothing to do but rant to you
Make a rhyme just to waste time
Keep walking
Keep talking
It’s so cold
Want someone to hold
Where are you?
Be here too?

Micaiah’s xoxo

Dear Author of any book

Why do you want to tear my emotions to sherds?
Why do you bring up my hopes, make me happy by baiting me with sweet ideals and inspirational quotes only to steal away the magic and rip apart my heart?
What good will this sadness cause…

Damn me, for getting overly attached to a fictional fairytale.
Damn me, that the author decided to be so damn relatable.

The worst bit I’m stuck on a page because my kindle is frozen.

I should have stopped reading before falling in love with it.

Micaiah’s xoxo

It’s not my heart, but it’s something

I like being close to you. 
I like feeling your touch.
Knowing you’re there. Here.
The heat is never unbearable. If anything pleasurable. Comfy. Safe.

My cold hands melt like the rest of my body with a stare.
But you’re hands, powerful, strong yet gentle send chills, heart beats and giggles.
The heart doesn’t feel anything. The heart just pumps blood.
It is the brain that chemically reacts to our situation causing miscommunication of fear.
Dilated pupils. Sweat palms. Heart racing.
Sounds familiar:

Safety and fear collide in a chaotic mess that humans say they understand but fall nieve and ignorant to it’s true charm and nature.

Again: the heart knows nothing but to keep you alive. Though that does not mean you are living you’re life.
Again: you’re mind, the central nerve system has played with your senses and reactors like a game of chess. No, twister.
No chess was right. An intricate thoughtful game for two. The brain has it’s pawns, it’s bishops, it’s kings and Queens.
Nevertheless, it’s not always thoughtout, sometimes the mind gets twisted, confused and just has fun. Let’s go.

Once more: the heart pumps blood.

Micaiah’s xoxo

Crippling generations through harsh sounds

I don’t understand why parents think shouting at their kids will make them understand what they’re doing wrong.

SHOUTING AS LOUD AS THEY CAN THAT “YOU WILL DO AS I SAY BECAUSE I AM YOUR FATHER!”

What if I think what you’re saying is unreasonable?  Just because you are older than me doesn’t mean you are always right. 

Don’t shout and tell me I’m wrong and I can’t do anything for myself! Explain to me in a level head voice what I’ve done wrong so I can understand, explain so I can learn because I am not doing the wrong thing on purpose…

Unless of course it’s moments like this. Moments that make me want to go against every rule you set. Just so I can prove you wrong.

Shouting won’t get you any respect! If anything I am losing respect for you. So so much. It’s making me desire aging and living by myself in my own terms in this dangerous world.

I’m 15 and they won’t let me cross the road alone. I understand it’s dangerous but fucking hell so is everything.

Sitting in the backseat of their car.
Going swimming.
Walking. Running.
Karate and dance.

“yeah but they’re stupid ways to get hurt that can be avoided,” BUT I DON’T WANT TO SACRIFICE ALL THE FUN THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE TO KEEP ME ALIVE. I will not, cannot just be…. And not allow myself to…. I can’t….

I can’t believe my parents would cripple me so much. Restrain me from life it’s self.  I want to experience not be told.
I just want to live.

Micaiah’s xoxo

How to get ahead by giving head

Works like a charm. More like fireworks but you get it.

Most ponies just want a ride.
Most bananas just want a peel.
If a nice diploma you wanna get, then make that teacher the student’s pet.

It’s good to be bad, for we all sin.
Good guys are just bad guys that haven’t been caught.

Mary magdalena did it before Jesus.
Yes, she was a prostitute in order to survive. People do bad things to survive. It’s the cycle of humanity. Oh the horrific monstrosity of humanity…
Who are the bad guys really?
The one’s “asking” for sex or the one’s forcing it down their throats?
Oh it gets worse.
http://anonhq.com/week-u-s-u-k-invoke-national-security-hide-war-crimes/

I don’t know why doing good always means doing bad in someone else’s eyes, so much so you forget what’s good and whats bad…  That you become the bad that the good arw trying to stop in this inevitable cycle. Damn humanity.

Micaiah’s xoxo